just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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