Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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