Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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