Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
