I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
one might say we're banned from that church
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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