The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
