She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
