Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
