I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
