I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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