I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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