oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
