I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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