Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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