we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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