Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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