Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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