Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
