He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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