You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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