how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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