Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
