i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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