I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
