nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
