I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
