sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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