I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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