I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
