if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
