Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
