As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
