Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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