she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
