Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize