Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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