i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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