i'm signing you up for texting rehab
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
