Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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