So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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