My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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