I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
