She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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