Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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