I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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