My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
