ya dads aren't the best wingmen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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