Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Farmville is her only friend.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
