Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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