How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
