Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
