you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
