I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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